


Yamato's Side

by GeekyIdiotCas, Trilinklover



Series: I7 soulmate writing on skin collection [1]
Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Because Mitsu loves talk about his little brother, Coming of Age, Hurt/Comfort, I'm so sorry, Light Angst, Mentioned Izumi Iori, Multi, Soulmates, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, this was meant to be a happy fic, yama bby i swear i love you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 18:44:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20430674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekyIdiotCas/pseuds/GeekyIdiotCas, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trilinklover/pseuds/Trilinklover
Summary: IDOLiSH7 Soulmate AUNikaido Yamato's side of the story.----Pairing: Pythagoras TrioPromt: Anything you write appears on your soulmate's skin





	Yamato's Side

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HakanaiFleeting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HakanaiFleeting/gifts).

> I spent about a good month writing this.  
I hope you guys are happy.  
-Cas

Yamato had been sitting in his father’s study when he ended up glancing downwards at his arm. To his surprise, neat, orange writing was printed on there, right underneath the tree he had drawn earlier in class. 

_“Hi?”_

The message was simple, but it still took Yamato by surprise. He didn’t think he of all people would get a soulmate. Standing, Yamato walked over to his father’s desk and grabbed the pen he had left on the surface. After thinking for a moment, Yamato placed the ballpoint down on his arm and began to write.

_“Hello.”_

The greeting was enough for Yamato and he placed the pen back onto the desk. Apparently his soulmate had other ideas, as orange began to quickly overtake his arm. Yamato stared in disbelief as he watched his soulmate make spelling mistake after spelling mistake. He was pretty sure some of the words on his arm weren’t even real words. Soon enough, Yamato’s arm was completely orange and just a huge mess in general. Grabbing the pen once more, Yamato moved to his other arm.

_“What.”_

And that had been his first encounter with his soulmate.

* * *

Since that first meeting, Yamato had gotten used to seeing his arm covered in orange. Every now and then, there’ll even be the occasional orange smiley face. He had also gotten used to almost constantly wearing long sleeved shirts, sweaters, and jackets no matter the weather. As another year passed, the writing on Yamato’s arm slowly got better.

_“Io-chan just turned one!!!”_

Yamato frowned as he read the newest message on his arm. Grabbing the pen he hid in his jacket, Yamato pulled off the cap and wrote back.

_“Io-chan?”_

_“Io-chan! My baby brother.”_

Yamato hummed, satisfied at the answer. He then watched as Orange-chan continued to rant about their(because Yamato won’t assume) baby brother. To Yamato’s surprise, it had been a baby Io-chan who gave him the lopsided smileys on his arm, not his sibling whom Yamato had presumed was drawing them. Deciding that this rant wasn’t going to end soon, Yamato walked into the kitchen and made himself some tea. Sitting in the most comfortable chair in his father’s study, Yamato rolled up his sleeve and began to read.

* * *

A few more years passed and slowly Yamato began to warm up to Orange-chan. The now ten year old’s father had found out about his soulmate last year and had gifted Yamato with specialty pens. They were a newer thing that had just recently come out to make talking with soulmates safer and easier.

Looking down at his arm, he saw Orange-chan was going on their normal rant about their day so far after Yamato initiated a conversation. Yamato quickly wrote a reply back when Orange-chan asked him a question. With a smile on his face, Yamato looked back up and continued to walk down the hallway to his room.

But before Yamato could reach his room, he heard shuffling from his father’s study. The study door was cracked and Yamato could briefly make out his father’s agency's boss. Yamato knew he shouldn’t listen in on his father’s conversations, especially if they were meant to be private. The urge, though, was too strong and the voices inside were beginning to rise. So, making sure he wouldn’t make any noise, Yamato got closer to the cracked door and listened in.

What he heard though, shattered his entire world. Dropping the pen that was in his hand, Yamato backed away from the door as tears began to form in his eyes. Yamato felt sudden pressure on his chest as breathing slowly started to get harder and more tears formed, a few of them falling. Forgetting the dropped pen, Yamato turned and ran straight to his room and slammed the door shut, locking it behind him as he threw himself onto his bed.

Hours passed Yamato laid there and cried. He had always wondered why his mother was always disinterested in his father, but to think that all along he had been some bastard child. What little love Yamato held for his father seemed to fade right then and there as resentment began to grow. Sniffling, the ten year old sat up in bed and looked at the time. It was nearing dinnertime, but Yamato wasn’t hungry. He knew one of his caretakers would come to get him soon, but he just wanted to be alone. Rolling down his long sleeves, Yamato made his way to his bookshelf and grabbed a book. Calming his ragged breaths and wiping the leftover tears off of his face, Yamato curled up in a chair in his room and opened the book.

A week had passed before Yamato decided to leave his room. His caretakers had taken to bring his food to his room during this week, so Yamato rarely left. He had also avoided at looking at his arm. He couldn’t stand to see his soulmate at the moment. He didn’t deserve it. Walking down the hallway, Yamato walked into the main living area. He looked around and didn’t see anyone in the room, so he walked further into the room. Yamato’s eyes trailed down to the table in the room and saw his specialty pen that he had dropped and felt his heart stop. Taking a deep breath, Yamato reached down to grab the pen. But while doing that, his shirt sleeve rose upwards and all he saw on his arm was orange.

Orange-chan…

Shaking his head, Yamato grabbed the pen and returned to his room before anyone saw him. Placing the pen onto his desk with the other ones his father had bought him, Yamato sat down and sighed. He knew he should let Orange-chan know he’s alive and everything, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Lying his head onto the desk, Yamato closed his eyes and tried to think of what to do now. His whole life was just uprooted from what it had been and thrown into a pit of nothingness. He didn’t know who to trust currently. He didn’t know who else would lie to him. Glancing back down at his arm, Yamato shook his head and sat up.

Going to his dresser, Yamato opened the drawers and pulled out some more comfortable clothes. He avoided looking at his arms while he changed, but Yamato soon found out that that would do nothing. Almost his entire body was covered in the orange writings of his soulmate. Checking under his boxers, Yamato let out a sigh of relief that nothing had been written there. Frowning, he read some of the messages. Orange-chan seemed very worried, and Yamato felt bad for worrying them. Walking back to his desk, Yamato grabbed his pen and took off the cap. It took a while for Yamato to find a spot big enough to write on, but when he did he placed the tip of his pen down.

_“I’m sorry.”_

Yamato didn’t get a response until the next day. All of the orange had been washed off except for a new message underneath the one Yamato had written the day before.

_“What’s wrong?”_

Yamato then couldn’t help himself as new tears began to well up and fall. In shaky writing, he explained his situation to Orange-chan.

Unbeknownst to the both of them, one stray dot was left on Yamato’s leg. But it wasn’t orange.

It was yellow.

Surprisingly, the next day, it was Orange-chan who noticed the dot. Yamato was looking down at his leg as he watched Orange-chan circle the dot and leave a message next to it.

_“Do you see this as well?”_

Frowning, Yamato wrote that it wasn’t him and began to wonder. He knew having more than one soulmate was a thing, but it was very rare. Like, a 0.001% chance of having multiple soulmates rare. As he thought about this, more yellow began to appear on his leg. It was in a language he’d never seen though, and judging by Orange-chan’s reaction, it was in one they didn’t know either.

Luckily, Yamato recognized some of the characters in the language as English characters. Trying to remember what English he is currently learning, Yamato began to write.

**_“Who is this?”_**  
Praying he didn’t make any mistakes, Yamato waited for an answer back. Orange-chan wasn’t writing anything either. Soon, the mysterious yellow returned.

** _“Hello! I did not think I had multiple of you. I had thought only the orange one was my soulmate.”_ ** ****

Yamato stared at his arm for a good few minutes as his brain tried to translate the English. Once he was able to comprehend the message sent, orange had taken over the other part of his arm.

_“What’s going on?? What’s he saying??? You understand this Green-san??????”_

A sigh escaped Yamato’s lips. It was going to take a bit to respond to each person, with the language differences and how long it took for Yamato to switch languages. So, he quickly responded to Orange-chan before writing to Yellow-chan.

_“Yes, I can somewhat understand what Yellow-chan is saying.”_

** _“I too had only thought Orange was my only one.” _ **

Yamato didn’t know if he messed anything up with his beginner English, so he just hoped he hadn’t. Orange-chan was now writing on his other arm.

_“Ne ne, Green-san, what are you two saying?”_

_“Nothing much. Apparently Yellow-chan had thought that you were their only soulmate. I said the same thing back.”_

_“What? Really??? But there’s no way they haven’t seen you write back to me!”_

_“I guess they just didn’t see my messages until now.”_

Yamato then looked at the time and stood up. Capping the pen and placing it onto his desk, he left his room to go get something to eat.

* * *

As the days and months went by, Yamato helped teach Orange-chan English and Yellow-chan Japanese. Yellow-chan’s Japanese was still a little shaky, but it was understandable. The same goes for Orange-chan’s English. Soon, a couple years had passed since the three of them began talking to each other. During that time, Yamato had also learned that his dubbed “Orange-chan” and “Yellow-chan” were both male. (Not that it stopped him from calling them Orange-chan and Yellow-chan though(;))))) ).) Yamato, to his own surprise, didn’t mind much that they were male. Which led to many discoveries that shouldn’t really be mentioned. Looking down at his arm, he saw Yellow-chan was writing something in Japanese.

_“I feel like I need something new to call you both. I can not keep calling you by your colors. Do you both have a name you would like me to call you?”_

Yamato was genuinely surprised. He had thought Orange-chan would be the first one to confront the issue of their names. His heart suddenly began to beat faster, maybe this would allow him to know his soulmates’ names? Yamato’s heart then stopped. He head heard bad stories of soulmates learning each other’s names. Biting his lip, Yamato quickly came up with something.

_“You can call me Yama. What about you?”_

_“Call me Mitsu!”_

_“**Oh! Wonderful** names! I am Nagi.”_

_“It’s nice to know what to call you both, Yama, Nagi~ Yama, now you don’t need to use ‘chan’ for us both anymore you know, We told you we were boys!”_

“Of course Mitsu-**chan**”

Yamato smirked as he watched Mitsu-chan’s immediate outcry as he tried to defend his masculinity. Honestly, if Mitsu-chan hadn’t told him he was male, Yamato would’ve assumed he was female with how much he gushed over new recipes and his baby brother. Looking back down at his arm, he saw Nagi had now joined in. Yamato’s smirk faded into a soft smile as he watched them go back and forth.

Leaning back in his chair, he watched as the conversation moved on from gender stereotypes to what they did that day. The smile faded though as he continued to read what the two were saying to each other. They had seemed to forget about him as they continued on, and this caused a small feeling to begin to poke at his heart. In that moment, a new voice joined the one that was already telling him he wasn’t enough. This new voice, cold and cruel as it sounded, also held a sickeningly sweet tone to it. ‘See how they are going on without your interference in their conversation? How well they’re getting along? Don’t you think they would be much better without you constantly annoying them hmm?’ 

His eyes clenched shut, trying to avoid hearing this voice. The logic that was instilled inside of him had to agree, even if he himself had wanted to disagree. Taking a deep breath, Yamato tried to clear his head. After a few moments of silence, he opened his eyes and looked down at the most recent messages on his arms.

_“Yama-san?”_

_“Yama? Are you there?”_

Yamato cringed and quickly reread what had been written before that. They had asked what he had done with his own day, before then questioning if he was reading. Grabbing the pen, he uncapped it and placed the tip onto his arm under Mitsu’s question.

_“Sorry, I was spacing out. As for my day…”_

Yamato takes a moment to think about how to word just how his day, how this time sitting inside of his room isolated fueled with a rage and these increasingly annoying voices, has been going without bringing any worry to his two soulmates. After all, they deserve someone much better than himself to be bound with them. Quickly coming up with an excuse, he went back to writing.

_“There hasn’t been much going on. Well, I take that back. I’ve started to pack to return to my mother’s apartment once summer has ended.”_

It wasn’t really a lie. More like a half-truth, seeing as Yamato should probably begin his packing. He only had a week or so until his mother came to get him. Then, Yamato realized he had just let out a part of his life that he didn’t mean to let out.

_“**Oh!** Your parents, are they..?”_

_“Nagi! Don’t you remember when....”_

Yamato felt the corners of his lips twitch upwards to form a sort of pessimistic smile. Since learning the truth, the topic of Yamato’s parents was a little touchy for him. Mitsu-chan even made sure to block any mentioning of said people. For example, when Nagi-chan tried to bring it back up once, Mitsu-chan scribbled over his whole message and drew a little angry face next to it. It made Yamato feel happy that Mitsu-chan cared so much, but he also knew that he was also burdening them in that way.

_“It’s fine, Mitsu-chan. Anyway, how is Iori-kun doing? He’s in his third year of elementary school now, isn’t he?”_

Yamato sighed in relief as Mitsu-chan took his que and changed the subject to this brother. Rolling down his sleeves, Yamato let his head fall onto his desk with a dull thud. He then stood up and took a deep breath, wallowing in his depression wasn’t going to get anything done. Looking over to the suitcase, Yamato walked over and picked it up. Hopefully packing would help take his mind off of his soulmates.

Over the week, Yamato tried his best to ignore the writing on his arms. He didn’t know why, though. It was just like his depression week. Sighing, he looked down at his arms and wrote some random word or sentence to please his soulmates. Yamato was beginning to feel a little antsy. Down the driveway, he saw his mother’s car. So, grabbing his suitcase handle, he walked over to greet her.

His mother smiled at him kindly and asked him how his break was. Before Yamato could tell her anything, she moved on and began to ask about his soulmates. Thanks to this, Yamato became hyper-aware of the prickling feeling of his soulmates on his arm. He then realized his mother had gone silent, waiting for an answer.

“Uh, I had a good time.” He gave her a weak smile before scratching his arm awkwardly. “And, um, my soulmates are good too.”

“That’s good, sweetheart,” Yamato’s mother patted his head. He let out a sigh of relief before seeing her freeze up slightly. Turning to look behind him, he saw his father coming towards them.

“I’ll go wait in the car,” Yamato muttered, taking his suitcase and placing it into the back of the car. He then sat in the passenger seat and pulled out his music player. Putting in his earbuds, he closed his eyes and hoped that it would help him distract him from everything.

When he next opened his eyes, emerging from the world of music that had attempted to put his mind at ease and hadn’t really done it’s job; he notices it had been a couple of hours. Looking around outside, he recognized where they were and deduced that it would only be a few minutes until they reached his mother’s apartment. Sitting up, Yamato stretched and took out his earbuds.

“I see you’re back in the land of the living,” His mother joked as she parked the car outside the apartment building. Looking up at it, Yamato briefly forgot how high end the apartment building his mother lived in was. Getting out of the car and grabbing his things, he followed her inside and up the elevator to her floor. Once they got to her room, she let him in and he went straight to his room.

The tingling on his skin still hasn’t stopped, so he rolled up his sleeves. Both arms were completely covered in yellow and orange. It honestly looked like fire. Looking at the conversation that was currently happening, Mitsu was telling Nagi one of Iori’s baby stories. The itching returned under his skin and a small voice was faintly laughing at him in the back of his mind. Biting his lip, the pain from the pressure briefly allowed him to calm down. But it wasn’t enough. Letting out an agitated sound, Yamato suddenly came up with an idea. He had seen this before, people going out and buying stuff to help with stress and other things. Walking over to his suitcase, he grabbed his wallet and checked how much money he had. He silently hoped that what he had was enough to buy what he needed.

Grabbing his hoodie, Yamato pulled it on as he left his room. As he was zipping it up, he turned to face his mother, who was in the middle of a phone conversation. “I’m going out to clear my head,” He told her and she just nodded. She then turned her back on him and began to yell into the phone. Sighing, he turned and grabbed the spare key next to the door before leaving, locking it behind him.

Walking down the street, Yamato pulled his hood up and put in his earbuds. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm his rapidly beating heart. As he neared a corner store, Yamato stopped right outside as he wondered whether he should be doing this or not. A little voice whispered in his ear, though, telling him it’d be worth it. He’d be able to talk to his soulmates normally if he did it. Nodding to himself, he entered the store and walked up to one of the self serving stands. Looking at everything in front of him, he decided to just grab the most enticing brand. Walking up to the register, he placed the box onto the counter. The cashier looked down at the box, then him. He then noticed the writing poking out from under his sleeves. With a sigh, the cashier looked around the empty store before ringing Yamato up.

“I know you’re underage and all, but don’t tell anyone,” He said and Yamato paid him. He even gave more than was rung up as thanks, and totally not buying the cashier’s silence. Walking out of the store, Yamato looked down at the pack of cigarettes and hoped they would help.

* * *

A few months passed after that, and Yamato was feeling much better now. He felt more… calm. Looking down at his arms, Yamato frowned. His arms had been clean of any writing so far that day. Wondering what was wrong, he grabbed the pen.

_“Hello? You two have been quiet today.”_

Yamato sat there for a few minutes before his frown deepened. Normally either Mitsu-chan or Nagi-chan would’ve responded by now. He was about to write more when his mother knocked on his door and informed him he should be leaving for school. Grabbing his bag, Yamato sighed and decided to check his arms later for any response.

As the school day went on, Yamato began to get a little twitchy. He knew what it was, having read up on it when he first started. Sighing and taking a deep breath, Yamato placed his pencil down and glanced at his arm. He discreetly lifted his sleeve to check for any new messages, but his arm was still blank besides his message. Checking the other arm, he found it just as blank. Biting his lip, Yamato picked his pencil up and continued to work on his schoolwork.

Around lunch, Yamato found himself on the roof with a cigarette in his hand. He didn’t know why his soulmates had gone silent and it worried him. The little voice in the back of his mind was whispering in his ear. ‘They left you. You don’t deserve them. They’re happy without you.’ Yamato closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. Bringing the cigarette to his lips, he tried to think of other things.

A breath in. A breath out. Repeat. He tries to focus on the feeling of the smoke entering his lungs, his classwork, even his stupid father and his stupid lies. Nothing works.

Every single one of his attempts, every single problem he tries to focus on that did not relate to the writings that usually expands endlessly on his arms went in, stayed for a moment then faded away from him. It was no use. It all circled back to his soulmates. There was no escape.

Walking out of the school gates, Yamato’s worry had grown. He had checked his arms over 20 times in the five minutes he had taken to walk out of his class to his mother’s car alone. He didn’t like the silence the blankness on his arms brought. He felt… alone. It was strange. He’s never felt this type of loneliness before, because even though he’s been alone many times before, he’s never not had his soulmates there. It made something in his heart clench. As he sat down in the passenger’s seat of his mother’s car, his pants rode up a bit, revealing a mess of orange and yellow. Yamato looked downward and felt his heart stop.

It had seemed as though the voice was right. Even if he couldn’t read the text from this angle inside of the car, he knows that they were talking to each other without him. The intent was ‘clear’ for him to see and Yamato felt his heart be pierced. The voice comes out from nowhere once more, louder and pushing any resistance he had to it further back.

They… his soulmates clearly didn’t need him. That much is clear to see. Tears begin to pool around his silver eyes before dripping off his face and to his lap. When did that happen? When did this begin to hurt? Why did he let it hurt? It’s clear that he did not even deserve that time where his soulmates had even pretend to care for him. He’s just a bastard child… he’s not good for anything. Right? 

Of course that’s right. It was just proven had it not? They hadn’t even alerted him as to any changes on his arm. If one of them had to have bare arms, couldn’t they have told him that under his initial message and then erased it? His body begins to shake, tears falling rapidly, akin to a waterfall in its quantity. His mother says nothing, caring little for the boy sitting in the seat next to her.

Soon as they get to their ‘home’ Yamato sprints out of the car, barely taking the time to close the door behind himself. His mother mutters something that could not have been positive about Yamato’s recent attitude shift. The boy was thankfully long gone before those words could even begin to exit her mouth.

He continues running until he finds himself once again inside of his room. Alone, yet not at the same time. His soulmates were there… just going on without him. He doesn’t have to be alone right? That…

‘No, it’s clear your soulmates do not want you in the conversation, now or ever right? They did talk there without responding to your worthless message. It’s a wonder that they managed to deal with you so far. Worthless… That’s what you are and you know it.’ 

Yamato waivers, a moment from falling into the belief that… the voice was right. He saw the point it had made earlier with his own eyes, his own mind. He… He should treasure the memories he had before he had proven himself to be worthless, to be a bother, something no one had wanted even those who were said to be perfect for him. Yeah right, soulmates are a hoax, a big lie huh? If he was meant to be loved then why had he been left alone, not in the know.

He trembles, moving through his room and to his bed before approaching it. Lifting the mattress slightly he retrieves his only form of relief, even if it only lasts a moment. Normally, he would never think of breaking back into this, his emergency stash of something his mother had once given him, however he doesn’t want to feel anything. As such, his small, childlike hand reaches into the little spot he had in the mattress in order to hide a select few things. In the end his hand lightly touches a bottle.

Cold to the touch, even though it had been hidden in there in order to keep it from his mother for months now. He takes a peak at the label, words stretching out that he has never really paid mind to before popping open the cork of the bottle.

The stench of alcohol fills his senses and he takes a sip. It burns all the way down his throat in an entirely different way than the nicotine sticks - cigarettes did. The motion of this, drinking hidden away inside his room where no one would come to check on him, from the people who come to this ‘house’ as visitors to his own ‘family’ who remains in these walls all the time or even the people who scribe beautiful words onto his worthless being.

No one would save him. Not even himself. The moment he had given into the voice, he had given into the urge to try to let it all go. He had moved to try to mute the hurt, mute the pain. Mute it all. Anything to make his heart stop hurting so much. To make it stop beating so the pain that comes with being himself will go away.

That night, he drinks himself into oblivion, smoke filling his lungs and alcohol filling his being. He sees nothing of the words of worry written across his legs, thighs to his ankles. He knows nothing of the intense worry that was felt by the two as he did not respond later when they had begun writing all over his arms. He simply lives in the place where seemingly nothing can hurt him anymore.

The next morning, Yamato woke up with a huge headache. Squinting his eyes, he sat up slowly. As he did so, the bottle he drank last night fell onto the floor, luckily not breaking in the process. Yamato also found his pack of cigarettes on the floor, completely empty save one or two on the floor beside the carton. Holding his hand up to his head, Yamato caught sight of the writings on his arms. Looking down, disregarding the fact he was somehow in only his boxers currently, he saw even more writing on his legs. Yesterday's memories flooded his mind, causing his current headache to worsen. Not to mention how his eyes hurt trying to read the bright yellow and orange writing. But he forced himself to read the messages, and guilt flooded his system, replacing any leftover alcohol that could be left. Biting his lip, Yamato continued to read the conversation between his soulmates and their worries over him. More guilt rose up as he moved to the messages on his arms. They had not only responded to him, finally, but they had also asked about his day and how he was feeling. If Yamato had to be honest in that moment, he felt like a huge dick. But this also sparked something within Yamato, something hidden underneath all of the guilt and doubt.

Nodding to himself, Yamato stood up from his bed. After swaying a bit, he regained his balance and walked over to his mirror. Looking at himself in the mirror, he made a vow.

He’d become a better person. Not only for his sake, but for his soulmates’ too.

* * *

The next five years passed in a blur of anxiety, with dashes of orange and yellow thrown in. He had come clean to his soulmates about his issues and they’d begun to try and help him overcome them. They’d write reminders for him on his arm, maybe an inspirational message, even little doodles would line his arms. Recently, Nagi-chan has even gotten into Japanese anime and manga. So there would sometimes be phrases from an anime or a drawing of one of the characters. He appreciated what they were doing for him, even if a small part of him still thought he didn’t deserve it.

“Nikaido Yamato.”

His name being called snapped him out of his thoughts as he stood up. Walking up towards the stage area, Yamato tried to clear his head. On his arms, messages of congratulations were being written alongside many doodles. As he walked onto the stage, he stood in front of his principle and bowed. Taking his graduation certificate, he bowed once more before walking off the stage and back to his seat.

The rest of his graduation seemed to fly by in a blur. As the ceremony began to wrap up, they were dismissed and he walked over to his family. His mother was smiling at him and it looked like she was holding back tears. His other family members from his mother’s side were doing the same as they congratulated him. Yamato noticed none of his father’s side of the family or even his father had come. That surprisingly didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would, having already grown numb to his father’s antics.

The tingling feeling on his arm though returned and he repressed the urge to smile. His relationship between his soulmates had grown stronger since his episode. As his family continued to crowd around him, Yamato peeked at his wrists to see Mitsu-chan and Nagi-chan still writing mini speeches on each arm. He’d noticed that they had begun to write something earlier in the ceremony, but had only just continued. Reading what they had written, Yamato felt heat rise to his cheeks. Hoping his family wouldn’t notice, he quickly excused himself. Handing his certificate to his mother, Yamato raced to the nearest bathroom and rolled up his sleeves.

_“Yama-san. I am so proud of you in this moment. You’ve come so far and achieved so much. I hope you’ll figure out what you want to do in your future soon and please know I will support you in every way. Now get back out there and show the world who’s boss~!”_

_“Yama! You have shown us great love in the time we’ve known you. I wish to return that love in the best way I can. I know you will do amazing things. **I can feel it.** So believe in yourself and know we will be here the whole way! **Mwah~**”_

The heat continued to rise in his face as read their messages fully. He knew his face must be bright red at the moment, but he couldn’t find himself caring much. A small, soft smile formed as he stared at the messages. He’d have to write his appreciation later. But he’d already stood there for a few minutes now and it’d be suspicious if he didn’t return soon. So, with that he took a few deep breaths and splashed cold water on his face. Walking out of the bathroom, he found himself unable to get rid of his smile. But he didn’t mind.

* * *

After graduating, Yamato had questioned just what he could do with his life. Despite his best efforts to begin his change, he still held a certain… resentment towards his father. Even so, he still looks forward to the messages sprawled upon his arms daily. Each word written by his soulmates is a treasure to him. However, reading the words from Mitsu-chan, recently he has begun to notice something off. The way he spoke was the same however, certain comments; regarding his recent interest in becoming an idol like Zero - a name Yamato had often seen the orange colored text ramble on and on about.  
Even talk regarding his darling younger brother, Iori had become less filled with happiness and a hint of something else had shown through. 

_“Iori did it again!! Perfect grades in his classes~ I’m super proud of him!”_

_“**Oh?~** He’s been doing well? That’s **Fantastic~**”_

_“Yep~ He’s the most perfect younger brother I could ever have hehe~”_

_“That’s really good to hear Mitsu~”_

Despite the casual talk between them, as though nothing was wrong, Yamato felt as though there was something off about the way that Mitsu-chan would sometimes grow silent after giving his brother praise. How Mitsu-chan would seem bubbly then back off. 

It… It reminds him a little of how he closed himself up all those years ago. The manner of doing so is different however he knows the feeling of being inadequate enough. He still feels it despite shoving the voice away after all, so… What if Mitsu-chan was feeling the same way? That thought, the thought that any one of his soulmates would ever look down on themselves fills Yamato with dread. With a fear that strikes down to his very core… Is… Is this how Mitsu-chan and Nagi-chan feel about him all the time?

A deep breath in. He calms down without the smoke from the death stick he had been addicted to many years ago by now. He needs to think… If he were Mitsu-chan, or Nagi-chan and needed to bring some joy to himself when he was having one of those days, what would they do?

It’s simple, they would talk with him, make it known just how much he means to them, and what would happen if he ever left them. Sure, it probably isn’t the same kind of thoughts going through Mitsu-chan’s head (at least he hopes it isn’t…) but that first part, establishing how much he loves Mitsu… Nagi too, is crucial. He has been rather selfish huh? Taking their love in but never returning it?

_“You know, I really care about you both. Mitsu-chan, Nagi-chan.”_

Yamato writes the simple line, so as to show them he really... really would be nothing without them. Without them, the only reason he’d have to live is the revenge against his father. With them in his life… He feels as though he’s been saved. He… He needs to convey this, even if he fumbles with his words every now and then.

_“I- Without you both, I probably wouldn’t be here as I am today aha. I couldn’t move on without both of you and I really want you to know that… Um.. yeah..”_

Conveying what he wishes to tell them both from the bottom of his heart is insanely difficult for him to do. Hiding behind masks after mask every day, fabricating a sense of security to cover up his insecurities… Without them by his side he couldn’t do anything like that. He couldn’t maintain his sense of self even with both sides of him fighting for his belief in them - trust in people versus a sense of warning in regards to anyone and everyone around him.

_“I… Really want to be able to help you both with your struggles as you’ve always done for me. It’s silly of me but… when I just got a thought in my head that any one of you might hold some resentment towards yourselves, disappointment about not being good enough for everyone it… Never mind it’s stupid”_

_“Yama, It’s not stupid to think that way. Knowing what you do, having a sense of empathy in regards to people who you care about. That’s not dumb at all~”_

_“No need for feeling bad about thinking that way Yama-san, really. While I really wish you didn’t have to feel that way I… kinda get it.”_

That comment at the end was scratched out as quick as it was scribed on their skin. It was just what Yamato had feared… He takes another breath in. And out. Okay, he needs to think about just how to bring up the issue, he has no idea how to do this!! He really should have been paying more attention when Mitsu had done it for him in the past… On the other hand he really doesn’t want to annoy Mitsu in any way - and risk getting even Nagi mad at him. He may accept their compassion towards him, the side they show to him; however, he is still terrified of them leaving him alone again but this time for real…

Luckily for him, Nagi had beaten him to the punchline.

_“Mitsu, how are you **feeling?~**”_

A simple question, innocent enough, but when paired with the comment Mitsu had just written across their arms in his beautiful orange ink this question takes on a meaning of it’s own. Of course, Yamato knows better than to just expect everything to come out right away, hell it took him a giant mistake in order to let the other two into his own mind. What they need to do is make sure Mitsu knows that they are both there for him when he needs it. With a nod, Yamato adds onto what Nagi had began.

_“You know you can tell us anything, right Mitsu?”_

Yamato could see the hesitation, the dots of orange as Mitsu went to write something, then stopped himself. It looked like Mitsu wanted to tell them what was wrong, but couldn’t bring himself to open up. Yamato knew that feeling quite intimately.

Eventually, it would seem as though Mitsu had decided to write something. It isn’t quite telling all that much however, it is certainly better than many of the stunts that Yamato had pulled himself.

_“It’s nothing too major.. I’m sorry I’m not really sharing much right now but;;; I’m just… I don’t want you both to see me differently… aha…”_

Yamato… Well he knows just how that feels. How it feels to not want to lose everything and just keep on going how things are, no matter how far he descended into that dark place inside of his mind… Shaking his head to draw those thoughts away from him he turns his attention to his arm and raises his pen to his skin once more.

_“Mitsu, you’re one of the only ones who I even care for at the moment… How could I see you as anyone else other than orange-chan? The boy who would write all over ranting about new recipes and his baby brother? One of the two boys who have had an incredibly positive impact on my life - the only positive impact on my life, mind you. Why would something make me see you different than the boy who is always so earnest in his care and compassion? You’re the one who taught me that… it’s okay to hurt. To feel pain… You and Nagi taught me how to take the pain, and turn it into something else… **Please** let us help you”_

_“Mitsu… We both care a lot about you and only want the best for you. What you reveal **surely** will not change how **kind** you are. It will not change the memories we hold with you and the bond that we share. **Please** let me **know** what I am able to do to alleviate some of your pain~_

More blotches of orange appear across Yamato’s skin, it would seem as though it is taking Mitsu a while once again in order to come up with what to say. Yamato takes in a shaky breath, heart beating faster than that time he went running from his mother's car after assuming that his soulmates were going to abandon him. He… He really doesn’t want to see Mitsu feeling anything unpleasant. It may seem a bit hypocritical of him, however he really doesn’t like looking on as the two who had attached themselves to the base of his heart hurt themselves as well…

_“I… okay. You know how I’ve been;; trying to become an Idol right? Aha… I’ve been getting denied time and time again… It… It kinda hurts but Iori has actually been actively scouted multiple times and turned them down. I’m not quite sure why it’s hurting so bad but… it does. I want to spread happiness through my songs, just as Zero did before he faded away… But it seems like no one would ever want to become a fan of me, or even bother really.”_

There continues to be a few orange dots afterwards, implying that Mitsu has something else to add however he clearly opts not to. It’s a race between Yamato and Nagi as to who writes first, however they both have decided to move to different parts of their bodies in order to fit the words they wish to say onto their skin.

_“Mitsu, this is definitely **not** something to be ashamed of feeling. While I may not feel the same things as you in the same manner, I do not wish for you to think we would ever look at you in any other manner than you have always shown to us. **Thank you** for telling Yama and I what was going on in your head Mitsu~ Let me just tell you that I am **your fan!** Mitsu, even if the whole world were to not pay you any mind Yama and I will always be watching you. It’s not the **quantity** of fans but rather the way you can bring smiles to their faces that matters right?~ so **Be Happy** Mitsu~ I’m sure Iori is also one of your biggest fans!_

_“Mitsu, Thank you so much for telling us aha. I know how hard it is to open up and well, you know what had to happen for me to share that bit… Anyways this is a no judgement zone!! I’d never judge you for something like that - in fact I can kind of understand where you’re coming from Mitsu. Know though, that you are cared for, and that Nagi and I are your fans as I just saw him write! We both care a lot for you and would be lost without our little orange-chan and nothing in this world could change that.”_

It was uncertainty that then filled Yamato’s heart, waiting as Mitsu surely read the words written for him from wherever he is. Will he take them well? Will it have helped? Did he drive him away? Waiting has never been his strong suit when something like this is on the line. He closes his eyes, hoping that if he looks away Mitsu’s response would form on their arms by the time he opens his eyes once again.

It doesn’t.

Not in that day at least. Yamato falls into a fitful sleep that night, tossing and turning, hoping, praying that Mitsu telling them that much wouldn’t push him over the edge. Nightmares fill his mind of what could befall his precious Orange-chan. What if… He had done what Yamato had used to wish upon himself… what if it became too much for Mitsu? What if… When morning sunlight shone into Yamato’s room, he had finally given up on getting real sleep, content with the bags under his eyes for the time being. Anything beats seeing the thousands and thousands of scenarios that play across his mind about just what could happen. What could go wrong. 

_“Thank you both!! Really;; I’m sorry I didn’t respond yesterday but I was so emotional over what you had written aha and passed out before I could really get into a proper stance to respond aha.. I’m so thankful for you both and I’ll keep going on for you two~ I’m also one of your biggest fans as well~”_

The orange text was unexpected, yet extremely welcomed. It showed Yamato that he had not messed it all up with Mitsu, with his Orange-chan. With a smile he watch as Nagi joins the conversation, relieved as Mitsu had seemingly began to brighten up once more. Sure, he isn’t completely better just like that - those kinds of problems do take a long time to get past after all, however Yamato does know that this? This is an improvement.

This experience has caused him to make him more tired than expected, given his rough night it makes sense. With a dopey grin he watches as Mitsu and Nagi fall into light conversation before his eyes start to close gently. With everything taken care of, now Yamato can sleep. Before he drifts off completely, he wonders if Nagi is holding anything back… He really wouldn’t want that to be the case either, however for now he relishes in the feeling that Mitsuki is finally being open with them both, allowing them all to both grow even close along with satisfying his worries about Mitsu for the time being.

* * *

Yamato had been sitting in his new apartment’s living room when he noticed it. Yellow had begun to show on his arm, spreading from his elbow downwards.

_“Japan is different than I expected.”_

That had been all Nagi wrote, and Yamato had to reread the sentence a couple times before he comprehended it. He immediately sat up straighter as his eyes widened. Nagi was in Japan? How? Last he had heard, Nagi was still in his own country and was ranting about some guy named Haruki he had met. Judging by the orange that was now overtaking his other arm, Mitsu had the same line of thoughts.

_“Japan???? YOU’re in Japan right now????? WHAT???? When did you get here???? Wait, better yet, HOW did you get here????? Is there anyone with you??? You’re still underage right??? Wait,,,,, where are you currently???”_

Yamato chuckled at Mitsu’s many questions. But he had to admit, he was curious as well. Looking down at the arm with yellow on it, he awaited Nagi’s answer. Which, surprisingly came faster than he thought it would.

_“**Oh!** Mitsu has no reason to worry! I am with one of my friends. I told him I had wanted to come here for…”_

Nagi seemed to trail off, as if he were unsure on how to word his statement. What Yamato and Mitsu didn’t know, was that Nagi was thinking of an excuse.

_“I had wanted to come and see my **mother’s** home country. **You see**, I am actually half Japanese. Did I not explain this beforehand? **My apologies. Oh, and Mitsu**, I am currently in the Shibuya district.”_

Yamato, to his amusement, wasn’t at all surprised. He knew he probably should’ve been, but knowing Nagi’s obsession with anime and manga, he knew Nagi would be somewhere in that area. He watched as Mitsuki asked more questions and Nagi answered them with just as much enthusiasm. But Yamato’s eye still caught the slight hesitation in some of Nagi’s answers, as if he was thinking on how to answer them. Yamato felt as if he should give Nagi the benefit of the doubt, being foreign and all, but he had also recently told the other two that he had become fluent in his sixth language, including Japanese. So he knew Nagi wasn’t thinking about how to word things. A slight frown appeared on Yamato’s face at the implications, but he decided to not call Nagi out, at least, not yet. Later, he might, but not now when Mitsu is obviously in a happy mood.

Standing up, Yamato walked into his small kitchen and straight to the mini-fridge. Opening the fridge, Yamato decided he needed something to help him through the conversation. Grabbing one of the beers, he closed the fridge door and opened the can. What his soulmates didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. Taking a huge gulp of the alcoholic beverage, Yamato walked back out into his living room. He could feel the alcohol begin to work its way through his system as he collapsed onto his couch. He knew he promised he’d quit drinking, but it felt good to him. Looking down at his arms, he watched as they moved on from 20 questions. Nagi was now telling how he had gotten there and what he had done so far. Placing his drink onto the floor next to him, he began to read.

_“... and then, I bought all of the Magical Girl Kokona volumes they had. My friend didn’t seem to like my purchase, but he can keep it to himself. **I’m so happy!~** I get to read Kokona in her home country.”_

_“You really like anime, huh? I didn’t take you as the type before you ranted to us about it. I’ve been meaning to ask, how did you even get into anime?”_

_“How did I get into anime? **Hmm**… I found it whilst researching your culture. It was the **huge** following behind it that made me curious to try it. Before I knew it, Kokona had swept me off of my feet and had shown me true love~.”_

Yamato didn’t know if it was the alcohol in his system that made him do it, or his own sense of humor, but he ended up on the floor in tears from laughter. He blamed it on the alcohol as he wheezed out a few more giggles. Looking at his arm, he saw Mitsu had responded to Nagi, but he couldn’t read it through the remaining tears. Also, his glasses were crooked on his face, so that probably did something to help that fact as the lens of the glasses weren’t even over his eyes. Sitting up, Yamato thanked whatever god was listening that his beer didn’t tip over from its spot next to the couch. Grabbing it, he drank a good quarter of it before fixing his glasses and looking down at him arm.

_“Really? Huh, I thought it’d be more….. um…”_

_“More dramatic?”_

_“Yes! That.”_

Yamato threw the pen back onto his tiny coffee table as he watched Nagi try to defend himself. With a small snort, he finished off his drink. Standing up to go throw the can into the trash, he saw Nagi jump to another subject.

_“This hotel I am staying in is **very cozy**! Tomorrow, my friend told me that he would take us to a different hotel in the Okinawan area. I cannot wait to see the ocean here! Oh! And the weather here is so much warmer than it is back in my home country. How do you two survive in this **heat**?”_

_“I wanna go to Okinawa!!! I hear they have pretty fancy resorts there. And apparently the ocean and beaches there are very pretty as well. It’s been on my bucket list to go there with Iori sometime.”_

Yamato briefly thought about the time his father took him to Okinawa. He had originally gone to spend time with Yamato, but ended up working the whole time instead. Shrugging Yamato reached for the pen and threw in his opinion.

_“I’ve been there before. Remember the time I didn’t respond to you two a few years back? It was because I was at an Okinawan resort and the ocean water would wash my messages off. But Mitsu is right, it is very pretty there. The staff that I met at the resort hotel I stayed in as well were all very kind. I think you would like it there, Nagi.”_

With that, Yamato placed the pen back down and yawned. Stretching, Yamato placed the forgotten empty beer can onto the table next to the pen and laid on the couch. Maybe after a short nap, he’d tell some of his stories for Nagi and Mitsu. After a few more moments of listlessly looking at the words exchanged between Nagi and Mitsu, Yamato is drawn into a rather comfortable sleep, sprayed across his couch with the light tingles of his soulmates writing back and forth.

* * *

It was about a week after Nagi had come to Japan to have a look around. Yamato was sent an email from an idol industry not too long ago and given his current resentment towards his father he decides, albeit a tad bit too hastily, to go for it. This was his chance and he was going to go for it after all. 

Of course, the one thing he had forgotten in that spur of the moment decision is how Orange-chan - how Mitsu had wanted to join the very same occupation that he had just accepted an invitation into. This of course, leaves him staring at the ceiling of his apartment as he has gotten used to doing when his thoughts go a bit on the side of self deprecation. 

Why did he not think of Mitsu when he had sent his quick acceptance??? How far would Mitsu fall when he would learn that even someone like himself had gotten scouted when he had been working for ages on getting into an idol group. Thoughts like how worthy Mitsu is for the job, and just how **unworthy** he is. He’s bound to bring ruin to whatever group he is to join, yet he got this opportunity… 

It’s in this bout of self loathing and hatred that Yamato refuses to look at the writing that expands across his skin in a familiar sensation. One that brings him warmth and comfort that he feels he does not deserve at the moment. Squeezing his eyes shut he determines that he’ll need a can in order to slow his mind down and let him take a breather. To help him forget what an absolutly stupid soulmate he is. Mitsu and Nagi deserve much better than the likes of himself after all, no matter how much he is reassured that he is all they need. This is the truth of the situation, the current dilemma he is facing only cements that truth further into his heart and mind.

The short walk to his fridge took a lot of Yamato as he shifts around the contents for what he requires, a nice cold can filled with beer. Something that takes the edge off of his problems, especially since he has stopped smoking as much. 

The sound of him opening his can of beer rings in his ears as he does so, smelling the oh so bitter smell of the beverage in his hands. He takes a moment to head back over to his room, taking a seat inside his oh so silent space before taking a sip of the blissful substance. It may not taste the best however, anything tastes better than the pain he inflicts upon himself in times like these - in times where he feels he cannot let either soulmate of his know that something is wrong with him.

If he had taken one moment from remaining in the confines of his mind and hiding from his soulmates he would have noticed the excited orange print spreading itself across his skin saying how he had been scouted alongside Iori, which is much more than what Mitsu had ever expected for himself.

* * *

The day of the audition approached much too fast for Yamato considering his mixed feelings about the entire thing. He has been mostly ignoring the writing across his body for the past several days other than briefly writing that yes, he is fine and hasn’t done anything to get himself into any danger and to NOT worry about him. Not that it would work but it was the attempt that matters right?

As he walked up the steps to the office, he felt his anxiety grow. For some reason, his heart began to pound faster. He entered the office as was met by a man with long hair tied into a ponytail.

“Hello, I am Ogami Banri. I assume you are here about the idol group auditions?” The man, Banri, smiled and Yamato nodded. “Good, if you would follow me, a few of the other scouted members are here already.” Banri told him and led him to a different room. Inside, there was what seemed to be a basketball court set up.

A few people were already standing around inside. From what Yamato could see, they were all younger than him. There was a redheaded boy, a teen with dark blue, almost black, hair, someone with orange hair, and another teenager with light blue hair. The orange haired person looked up and Yamato’s heart, for some reason, stuttered. He felt the air escape his lungs as he and the person made eye contact.

He could tell the other person reacted the same, judging by the widening of his eyes. The teenager next to him turned to him in an extremely concerned manner, placing a hand on his shoulder.

In that moment, it suddenly clicked in Yamato’s mind. The person standing in front of him, was his dear Orange-chan.

His dear Mitsu.

He opened his mouth to speak, but found himself unable to as a blur of orange tackled him in a huge hug. His arms quickly wrapped around the other body, reciprocating the hug. “Yama!” Mitsu chimed happily. Yamato felt his knees go weak. _‘Oh god, his voice is so beautiful’_ Yamato thought as he, regretfully, broke away from the hug. His Mitsu was smiling up at him and Yamato felt his heat stop. _‘His smile is like the sun itself.’_ The thought entered his mind and he had to fight the blush that threatened to rise. It is this moment that he, for the first time in his life, is glad that he had inherited his father's skill of acting, for putting up a facade.

“Mitsu-chan,” Yamato greeted back, a small smile gracing his face. Mitsu froze at the honorific and Yamato almost broke out into laughter as the smaller boy’s eyebrow twitched.

Before Mitsu could make his remark, the door that closed when Banri left the room reopened. Yamato quickly moved himself and Mitsu to the side to allow the new person to walk in. When they looked over to see who was entering, Yamato’s heart stopped once more. A beautiful, blonde foreigner entered the room with a small smile on his face.

“_Hello_ everybody! Your prince is here!” The foreigner cheered and Yamato looked down at Mitsu, meeting his eyes. Realization and understanding flitted between them as they turned to face the blond again.

“Nagi?” Yamato asked and the blond reacted, turning to face them. Suddenly, the blond’s bright blue eyes widened and his smile grew.

“Oh! Mitsu?! Yama?!?!” Is what the taller boy of the three of them is able to get out before being essentially tackled the orange blur - Mitsu (Who is efficiently caught by Nagi thank you very much). Moments later, the two of them are joined by a hesitant Yamato who is easily pulled into the group embrace by the other two males.

The others in the room looked at each other confused as another person walked into the room.

“What did I miss?” The person asked, not noticing the trio hugging each other. The teenager with the light blue hair looked over and shrugged. The white haired male then looks to the other two inhabitants of the room for any kind of explanation only to see the dark haired boy looking away, face somewhat flushed seemingly from embarrassment. The red haired boy, however, simply smiled towards the new person who entered with a slight shrug. 

Before any explanation could be made, Banri entered once more. This time, he had a basketball in his hands as he smiled at the group.

“Why don’t you play some basketball to pass the time until your manager gets here?”

The three part from their embrace, with Mitsuki and Yamato looking slightly embarrassed due to the scene they had created yet elated due to being in each others presence. Nagi simply had the brightest smile on his face as he had let them out of his grasp before nodding vigorously in regards to what Banri had just proposed of them.

“I would _love_ to try playing Basketball with you all!” He exclaimed and Yamato sighed.

“You know what, how about I keep score? That way the teams will be even.” He added on the last part as Nagi turned to him with an expression resembling a puppy that could get anything it desires. Mitsu just grinned and rejoined his brother.

“Whatever you say, old man.” Mitsu grinned as Yamato shot him an annoyed look. Banri just laughed and threw the ball onto the court.

It is in Mitsuki’s nature to try to get competitive and so, he stares down Nagi before challenging the other in who can get the most baskets, efficiently ending up with them both on opposite teams. Which is better over all as Yamato is the judge of this, and would rather not be accused of favoring one side over the other. 

Yamato smiled as he watched his soulmates, in person, have fun. He soon found himself no longer regretting his fast agreement to being an idol, seeing as it introduced him to the people who have become some of the most important to him. Even if he had a lot to work through, even though he knows that there will surely be problems down the road for the three of them, he knows that being with them feels right. He knows that his demons, Mitsu’s demons, and even Nagi’s hidden ones would come out to bite them, to drag them back into the dark recesses of their minds. Yet, somehow he finds himself for once looking forward to the future, whatever it may hold for them. Because in this future, he will be blessed with the presence of the bright colors that his soulmates provided for him, a light to guide him through his own darkness.

Taking a deep, calming breath, Yamato felt something in his mind become clearer. A worry that plagued him for almost as long as he had been corresponding with the two wonderful people connected to him has been lightened. He may not be perfect, nor may he be as put together as he may like for them, however for this moment, watching them put it all into this simple game of basketball was enough to make him feel like he had finally found people who could understand him for him.

As the game neared its conclusion, Yamato watched as both of the makeshift teams had reached a tie of 12 to 12, before being called over by Banri in order to meet their manager. He’s unsure of just what may be in store for them in the immediate future however he knows that he will do anything in his power to make his soulmates smile. To make them feel the joy and give them the security that they had never failed to provide for him throughout the time he has known them as the beautiful yellow and orange script that decorates his skin.

END

**Author's Note:**

> So this whole thing sprouted in my I7 discord server when my friend claimed someone I wanted in waifu claiming. Long story short, this was my repayment for having her give me the person I wanted.
> 
> I spent a long time on this lmao.
> 
> \----  
My I7 discord server!! https://discord.gg/txzJTwm   
Come join us. We talk about the game, the anime, and we even share memes, fics, and fanart. Also there's a lot of other crazy stuff going on currently. I hope to see you there!!


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